A lot of us gamers have certainly mused about their favorite video game characters in many ways, like what it would be like to be these characters in real life, or perhaps what it would be like if we were able to hang out with them. And no doubt, we have all wished at one time or another, most likely when we were all children (or even in our mid-teens…not me, this was a friend of mine), that we had one of our favorite superheroes or other childhood idols by our side when were alone in the dark and too afraid to get out of our beds to get a drink water or take a leak thanks to the monsters and horrifying creatures that no doubt lay in wait in the dark hallway, in the closet, or under our very beds.
Well, now that we’re all grown up and have to potentially deal with deadlier threats to our safety, like robbers, assassins, rabid dogs, telemarketers, internet trolls, and video game developers seeking to drain our money by forcing loot boxes into our games, us super nerds here at Gaming Respawn had started wondering which video game character we would want to have by our side to protect us from anyone who tried to inflict harm upon us. Below we list our choices of characters that we would like to approach so we could ask them, “Will you be my bodyguard?” Leading the charge is the mastermind behind this topic, Samantha Brown.
Bayonetta (Bayonetta Series)
When it comes to choosing a video game character as a bodyguard, there is a lot to consider. Many names went around in my mind when trying to decide which character would be ideal for protecting me. After much consideration, I have decided upon Bayonetta.
Bayonetta is a sexy but deadly Umbra Witch, the child of a Witch and a Lumen Sage. Bayonetta’s real name is Cereza, and her clothes are made up of her hair. Not only does she have the ability to bend time, but she can also shapeshift into different animalistic forms. She carries four main weapons, namely guns. She uses one for each hand and then has the other two attached to her boots. When you play the actual video game Bayonetta, you can pick up different weapons for her to use, but the classic four guns are my favourite. Along with her magical powers of bending time and changing form, Bayonetta has superhuman speed, agility, strength and endurance. She has the ability to perform acrobatic feats and even defy gravity by walking horizontally or vertically on walls. The amount of power that Bayonetta has at her disposal is indescribable.
Taking everything into account about Bayonetta as a person, I believe she would make an amazing bodyguard. She has a lot to offer, plus she isn’t too bad to look at. In my opinion, she is a complete boss. Bayonetta also happens to be one of my favourite games ever made. As a female gamer, she is somewhat of an icon because here is this elegant woman that kicks ass and takes names. She does everything with grace, dignity and beauty whilst making it known she is an absolute killer. If I had Bayonetta protecting me as my bodyguard, I would feel extremely safe, and I would sleep very easily.
Dante (Devil May Cry Series)
If ever I was walking down a dark alley or, hell, even the red carpet (ha! yeah right), who would I prefer to have at my side to protect me? I would have to pick Dante from Devil May Cry 5. The wise-cracking demon hunter is a perfect choice of bodyguard for numerous reasons. Firstly, his legendary sword, Rebellion, can carve any foe coming my way into mincemeat in a split second, a blade the size of his full body that he can swing almost effortlessly, bringing any demon asshole to their demise. From afar, he has Ebony and Ivory, his pistols that, although don’t do a lot of damage straight off, they chip away at enemies until they are close enough to finish off. Saying that, they would probably be overkill for some random idiot trying to rob me rather than demons, I mean let’s keep things real here, right?
So why the more recent rendition of Dante? The one seen in Devil May Cry 5? Well, he has newfound skills here that I haven’t seen in any other rendition of him. He can use Kalina Ann, a powerful rocket launcher, and Cavaliere, his demonic motorcycle, as weapons. His gauntlet and greaves weapons, Balrog, allow Dante to use some Bruce Lee-style martial arts techniques, enhanced more so by King Cerberus, a triple nunchaku weapon. All of Dante’s weapons can easily be switched up to create some kick-ass combos, so as he’s taking out goons around me, I would watch with mouth open wide.
When not taking out my enemies, Dante is a wise-ass; therefore, he’d be a blast to chat with, throwing out jokes that would undoubtedly keep me entertained for hours. So yeah, Dante is my perfect choice for a bodyguard.
Gray Fox Cyborg Ninja (Metal Gear Solid Series)
This topic of which video game character I would want as my bodyguard gave me more trouble than I expected. There were several candidates I considered and rather quickly passed over since I felt they were overkill (like Kratos from God of War or Dante from Devil May Cry), then I suddenly hit a brick wall. I came up with two candidates who would make exceptional bodyguards because of their unique abilities, and both of them are from the Metal Gear Solid series: Gray Fox Cyborg Ninja from the first Metal Gear Solid and Quiet from Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. I simply couldn’t decide which one of these characters to choose as my bodyguard for some time. Both of these characters are very well equipped to protect me from a number of threats. If an armed robber or attacker tried getting to me, Quiet would blast his head off with her sniper rifle with absolute ease before he could get close (or hit him with a tranquilizer dart if I was feeling merciful), and Gray Fox would decloak his stealth camouflage, revealing himself to be right behind the attacker, and cleave him in twain with his high-frequency blade that can cut through steel like butter (or cleave his gun in twain if I didn’t feel like getting blood all over me). And if by some chance an attacker managed to fire a shot at me, Gray Fox can run in and deflect the bullet with his blade before it even hits me.
But what about threats from afar, like enemies with sniper rifles of their own or rocket launchers (I know I’m not important enough of a target to warrant such ordinance, but it never hurts to be prepared)? Well, Quiet’s sniper skills are second to none, so taking on other snipers should be no problem for her, especially since they’ll likely never spot her since she can turn invisible for short spurts. As for Gray Fox, his helmet’s thermal vision will let him spot hidden threats from a distance, and with his incredible speed, he can reach any would-be assassins in no time flat and end them before they could even try to get a shot off on me…or he can just blast them to kingdom come with his arm-mounted plasma cannon. And if I feel a more direct or hands-on approach is required to deal with a threat, namely if I want my attackers to just get beaten up instead of shot or sliced to pieces, then both Quiet and Gray Fox are more than capable of laying the smackdown on my enemies with their enhanced strength and speed.
So yeah, both of these characters are prime candidates for being my perfect bodyguard, but I can only choose one for this feature, so I would have to go with Gray Fox. For one thing, he might be better at spotting incoming or initially unseen threats with his helmet’s thermal vision, like if a bomb was planted under my car (again, I know I’m not a “bombable” target, but this stuff actually happens). Another reason I decided to go with Gray Fox is because Quiet…well, let’s just say she’d be very distracting for me to the point where I might end up walking straight into traffic without realizing it, and that would result in Quiet having no one to protect. As tempting as it would be for me to have Quiet around for extended periods of time, a buddy of mine pointed out how it’s never a good idea to mix business with pleasure, if you get my meaning, and I (rather begrudgingly) agree with that sentiment. It is for these reasons that Gray Fox would be the perfect bodyguard to protect me from all kinds of possible threats. Plus, the guy is extra intimidating and has a frightening voice that is amplified when his helmet is closed, so he could probably just scare away any would-be attackers without having to hurt or kill them at all.
Kratos (God of War Series)
For my contribution, I’ll be choosing Kratos. The Godslayer, the Ghost of Sparta. You’ll remember him for such gruesome deeds like destroying the entire Greek pantheon like they were made out of paper. Yes, this walking man of muscle and grit is who I pick to be my bodyguard, and let me tell you why.
To begin with, you all know the history by now, a warrior from Sparta. Feared by men and nations alike for his ruthless fighting ability and tactics used to win countless battles and wars. This culminated in the plea for his loyalty to the then God of War, Ares, to slay his foes in a battle that he could not win. In doing so, he was able to defeat his enemies. But, this came with a price: the Blades of Chaos bound to his arms. Serving Ares meant slaughtering innocents and the guilty alike in the name of war, until he slaughtered his own family, whose ashes he now wears upon his body as a constant reminder of his rage, bloodlust and his own failures.
This fueled his rage to wipe all the Greek gods from existence. In the latest God of War release from Santa Monica Studios, it sees Kratos with a new set of foes in the form of the Nordic Gods whilst trying to raise his new family: his son, Atreus. But, this isn’t me telling you about his past deeds, this is me giving you some context on how he would be best suited for being a bodyguard.
I know what you’re thinking. Kratos would make for an awful bodyguard! He killed his own family. His rage and anger get the better of him. But to that I would say, “No”. He has seen this path of vengeance and his vendetta-fueled quests to their conclusions. He has seen what happens when you get to the end of that road. He has seen what waits for those who relentlessly pursue this blind rage. Nothing but emptiness and regrets. With this, he has changed when it comes to his new family. He knows what’s important and will fight to keep them safe. Having this incarnation of Kratos is why I would choose him as my bodyguard. He would move Heaven and Earth to keep those close to him safe. In the instance of this article, that includes me.
Having the ability and sheer determination to protect what is important to him is what will shine through. That and having his huge Leviathan Axe with the Blades of Chaos is a combination I would not like to be on the receiving end of. Let’s face it, being defeated by an enemy is something no warrior wants to suffer. But to be defeated by Kratos, well, I know which I would rather choose. His brutal methods of dispatching mythical beasts and monsters are to be feared, as well as the fact he has taken on enemies the size of towering skyscrapers like they were nothing but twigs. And his tendency to wrench limbs from beasts, only to use said limbs as weapons, is downright scary.
So, to have this unstoppable force on my side as my bodyguard, I say, “Yes, please”. To all those who want to do me harm, having Kratos in my corner, I would feel sorry for any who dare to stand against him. I really would. Yes, you can have your fancy ninjas from games such as Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice or Metal Gear Solid; hell, you can even pick knights from the Dark Souls games that are fabled as monstrosities within their own lore. In my opinion, they all pale in comparison to the Ghost of Sparta (I hope he didn’t hear me say that), I mean, Warrior of Justice and Protection, Kratos.
D (Vampire Hunter D)
The video game character I would pick to be my personal bodyguard would be D from Vampire Hunter D, a PlayStation One game that is based off the animated movie of the same name. When I thought about the question, the first character and choice I would have picked was instantly Alucard from Hellsing, but that is not a video game but an anime with no gaming relation, so the next character to pop in my mind was D. I was thinking the Pokémon Ditto would be a great bodyguard too, but it would still have its weaknesses, so I went with D. D is half-human and half-vampire, also known as a dhampir. If you are a bodyguard, you need to have that extremely fast healing ability.
You also want someone who looks intimidating, and D fits that description. Plus, he carries around his weapon, a longsword that is like Sephiroth’s. These are D’s qualities that make him my choice. You definitely wouldn’t want to mess with him if you see him. D doesn’t need to rest and does what needs to be done.
However, there is a small downside, D has a face on his hand. But it doesn’t talk around humans, so I guess it’s okay. As long as he doesn’t spend lots of time conversing with it, then the talking hand is not a deal-breaker. Just imagine trying to sleep and all you hear is D talking to himself in the other room. But he does joke around saying that he doesn’t need both hands.
D has everything that makes him a great bodyguard. Unlike in the PlayStation One Vampire Hunter D game, in the movie D is pretty much invincible, heals himself virtually instantly, gets things done and fights like a badass.
And thus concludes our feature on the video game characters we would love to have as our personal bodyguards. Let us know in the comments below your choice of video game character that would be your ideal protector.